Let Them Drink Cloudwater

I have a friend. Well he’s not really a friend, he’s an acquaintance and a massive prick.

He loves Untappd.

He hates Brewdog.

He can’t review them honestly. Or rather, he can’t rate them honestly.

He even goes so far as to make up that he commits theft rather than pay for their beer.

While also implying, well, you can read.

It is amusing in a childish way, especially as he is married with a child.

He also loves Cloudwater.

So he’s been in a bit of a bind recently but…

His mental gymnastics are exemplary.

He loves to give most CW beers 4 out of 5 because then he gets a little head pat from the brewery bot on the site.

Quite what a “supermarket beer” is I don’t know.

And quite why Cloudwater felt the need to highlight the beer is (Tesco) I don’t know.

Perhaps it could be (((for the plebs))).

I met the news that Cloudwater had signed up with Tesco with the same shrug of the shoulders that greeted their statement but a few years back that they had no role in their previous collaboration with Brewdog being sold in, er Tesco.

Those that shout the most about their moral stance are the ones quickest hoisted by their petard. I could only imagine the fall out within the beer bubble, vicariously watching a little bit more of its supposed soul die.


Last week I found myself reading this blog on the Burum Collective website.


It reads like those in Circles 3 and 4 of craft beer hell are somehow proud they aren’t in Circle 5.

Sure you have to drink your pastry stouts while covered up to you navel, standing in your own shit but at least you can have your sneer beer without actually sneering down at lower classes.

Commoners that apparently only drink in Spoons and only shop at big supermarkets and don’t have any means, let alone agency to venture into an independent beer shop, or at least one that is Bargain Booze, right guys?

To me it read, not of letting the unwashed somehow have a chance to afford to drink Cloudwater beers but simply as a defence of a business making a savvy business decision, while dressed up in punching across, or even projecting, at the more snobby tendencies in the beer bubble.

That the piece features key buzz words linked to identity politics and has a go at the “politics of Wetherspoons” leaves me to think that if I were to venture onto the authors twitter feed I’d see quite a few posts disparaging Brexit and Tories and everyone that voted for it/them.

Because let’s be honest, you’d spit on the working class for what they’ve allegedly done (actively or duped into) to the UK at the ballot box but so long as they can fork out their money into your wallets then your can still remain morally superior to not just them but those in your own strata too.

I should point out that this is not a direct attack on the author, I’m sure it was a well intentioned piece but it simply reflects the overall malaise in beer bloggery and craft brewing in general. All dull, boring and full of faux philosophising.

Given that this was read in a week that saw the Labour party pondering its future and thinking that someone from “the North” or who is “working class” needs to represent them both at upcoming by-elections and also possibly as leader shows that there is a complete disconnect across a broad swathes of society.

In summation I wish everyone involved in blogging and brewing every success in the future; however, in the words of Sir Mix-a-Lot, and I indeed like my buts big, just because you are a minority-owned business does not mean you are any more worthy of actual success.

That isn’t meant to be patronising, I am sure all are aware that a product rises and falls on how good it is and how needed it is and not who is actually steering the vessel, or rather what is inside the vessel doing the steering.

Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people, putting too much onus on identity can lead to all sorts of tangles that are not legitimate business concerns.

Life is life.

Thanks for reading.

“Credulous at best
Your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men
Pull your head out of your hippie haze
And give a listen
Shouldn’t have to say it all again
The universe is hostile, so impersonal
Devour to survive, so it is
So it’s always been”

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