Patronising Pub Patrons

As a child I very much loved ‘Tom and Jerry’, ‘Looney Tunes’, ‘Droopy’ and any Tex Avery shorts.

I loathed ‘The Flintstones’ and ‘Scooby Doo.’

And it wasn’t the short versus long form versions of cartoons but at my tender age it was the laugh track I found off putting.

As I grew it was noted that a lot of live action American sit-coms had to always say “filmed before a live studio audience.”

Not that having canned laughter is necessarily a sign of a poor show. ‘M*A*S*H’ felt the need to have one and on the British side of things, there is still debate as to how much of the laughing in the audience of ‘Red Dwarf’ was genuine (though being honest things have nose-dived dramatically since the end of Series 6 and the stuff on Dave is average at best).

More recently there are videos on popular video hosting sites that show ‘The Big Bang Theory’ without the “studio” chuckles to highlight that it really isn’t funny if you strip away the aural prompts.

Of course comedy is subjective and naturally the same can’t or shouldn’t be said about public health, but we can at least try and be objective.

With some holiday coming up I thought I’d treat myself to a visiting a few venues I only go about twice a year at best and since FaceBook insists you sign in now to view anything I felt I should resort to Twitter to see what rules may still be being required but said venues (which will remain anonymous).

I’m not trying to virtue signal here, or I suppose signal what is essentially a non-virtue in some eyes, I will state now that quite simply, their house their rules and they do what is best for themselves, their staff and their customers.

It is the language used, especially in the first two points that irritates. What is wrong with just stating what your rules are?

If you watch the adverts, you can bear witness to this kind of patronising speak on a regular basis. Apparently the over 50s seem to do nothing but talk to each other about funerals and life insurance. Everything else is trying to sell you a lifestyle by pretending to by your best friend or “relating” to you, especially over the last 16 months when “they know” how much you have “suffered” and now that you are “free” you should reward yourself by buying something like a pube trimmer.

Short of typing this all in capitals I’ll simply say that;

I want to queue at a bar.

I dislike pub table service (

My use of cash does not make me unclean, or inefficient but it does enable me to tip staff.

Boycotting is so passé these days. You can’t boycott something if you’ve never actually financially contributed to it before and perhaps in this day and age we should do some research into what other things are owned by whatever it is we’re “boycotting” because, for example, it’s was bit pointless not buying “The Sun” when you had a Sky dish on your house (when it was owned by Murdoch).

Likewise neither myself not going to this place, which is quite a distance away anyway, nor the venue will miss out on my infrequent non-attendance. Until things are back to normal, and that is the worry.

This whole saga has brought out the most base instincts in people, online specifically. Though the post that features these rules has garnered no comments, 1 retweet and 8 likes, there are other places tweets of their rules that attract a vast array of replies and whereas I have little truck with those that feel the need to either applaud or boo places that are keeping “safety protocols” (and likewise aren’t) I do have some sympathy with those that wouldn’t go to places that aren’t returning to normal simply because it does feel like a rod is meeting a back and in an industry that is being hammered from all sides these “safer” places seem to be just one step away from going “covid passport on entry” and then that rod will be then inserted everywhere and anywhere, hard and heavy and dry.

Side note: With some amount of irony the word patronising will be underlined in red in this piece (for me at least) as the built-in spell checker reminds me that I write in English (or a close approximation) and not the American version.

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